The Doctor is in?

Tony: Two questions I keep getting asked are, "Is there anything you need?" and "How are you doing?". The traditional gender based replies include no and okay respectively. However, this is a little how I feel:

My sanity football has been taken out from under me

What do you need? The answer to that one is a little easier in that I don't really know. This parenting thing, as I've gathered, and in the most pragmatic and forensic sense is a matter of trial and error hoping that you don't mess up too bad that your kids don't like you but that you do well enough that the kids aren't damaged from you blunders. It seems that with each set of parents there is a unique dynamic and that moves in ebbs and flows to the needs, wants and cares of the kids. What I really welcome and need is advice, not on parenting itself, that I will get each time I do something wrong (i.e. the diaper's on backwards, you don't hold a baby like a cat, etc.) rather, on hanging on as a parent when your child is in pain and danger. 

 

I'm all ears...

The Bleet (that's a blog/tweet) on the kids and Mindy would go something like this, I know a Tweet would not have enough words...

July 12th AM: On July 12th they came into the NICU. There were sixteen people in the room including nurses, doctors, social workers, respiratory therapists, etc and their students dutifully standing in the corner. As the doctor tried to get lines into their bellybuttons I was supposed to leave for 30 minutes, I left, for about 10 minutes and came back and got in a little bit of trouble for being there, but I really didn't care. I just wanted to see them.

Line was a little long to get  into their NICU room

Each was being settled and stabilized and they were in various states of compliance with their care. I'm finding with three preemies there is always one that seems to be in a little worse shape than the others. During this episode it was Teagan. She, like Mindy, has not veins for blood and got pocked in each arm and leg until finally a PICC line (Peripherally or Percutaneously Inserted Central Catheter) was put in her leg. She was and continues to be the most "spirited" of the three. Mindy was getting started on her meds and starting her long recovery as well. She doesn't express much when she is in pain, but you could tell she was really hurting. She would be switched from the Morphine pump to Percocet and Motrin, then Motrin itself.

July 12th PM:
After a day of tours and generally getting everyone settled the girls looked good and were all tucked in. We were encouraged by their progress to getting off the intubation and breathing on their own, but that, we were told would change and has. Mindy has improved substantially. Went home a proud but concerned and worried dad. (See previous blog for pics)

July 13th:
Prognosis for the most part is good and the kids are given their names. The staff made cute name tags for their Giraffe NICU beds. The Bili lights are turned on and it looks like all three are tanning. However, those lights require that they are exposed to the blue light and so they can't be snuggled in their buntings and the last thing they need is a chance to rip out their lines and kick.

• Brielle struggles to breathe and is intubated again.
• Rianne has a few apnic episodes (so appropriate apnic is panic with two letters switched around) and needs some stimulation to start breathing again. 

Mindy's first, I think it's called foremilk, was able to give them about 2 mL each of lunch, dinner and breakfast. They are getting that each six hours but they don't want to over stimulate their bodies as they need to worry about breathing and so forth. Pumping the first time seemed like a novelty, I can't imagine pumping for months or years.All I can say is Good job Honey!

July 14th

• At 6 AM Teagan needed to be intubated again. That's probably a good thing. She's really struggled with that bubble cpap and she was burning a lot of energy crying and generally trying to get out her bed as well as trying to get those lines off of her. Brielle and Teagan are both intubated and that makes sense as they are 1/2 pound behind Rianne. Ri is breathing room air percentage wise with the oxygen and doing really well with the bubble cpap.

Mindy's going up to hear what the rounding doctors have to say and ask some questions. on rounds and I am at work for a bit catching up right now. That still leaves the other question.

How are you doing?

I guess my short answer would be "I don't care. I only care about the girls."

If you really want to know I have a disc bulge somewhere between L3 and L4 or L4 and L5 that is excrutiating when I stand and dissipates somewhat after. It's hard to sit for any length of time which is okay because soon the only positions I will have are standing taking care of the girls and laying down exhausted.

I haven't been able to run for 3 weeks because of an ankle sprain that I can't seem to get to heal. I ran three 5 mile repeats comfortably on the XC course in Ames just four weeks ago after running three 1/2 marathons in 5 weeks time.

After the the first five mile loop the next week got off the leg because of the ankle pain. I rested and didn't run for a week then tried a 5k and was really comfortable at 7 minute pace but the foot hurt so much I could barely hobble on it after. Now, I'm just wanting it to heal so I can run and free up some of the pain in my back and have time away from my thoughts.

I've read this book already...

I've been swimming a bunch to keep my fitness (60-90 minutes a day) and doing elliptical and modified Farrell's workouts just to keep from blowing up but...when I can't run, it's a tough deal for me. I have no desire to do a triathlon, I'm just doing the swimming to release some tension in my back.

That leads to my second question and request. How do you stop worrying about your kids when they are in the NICU and not spend every moment in there? It would be so easy to watch the Oxygen Sats (saturations) to make sure they are in the 90's, definitely above 83 and the heart rates and blood pressures and all the myriad of numbers that come along with making sure they grow into healthy young women?

And I've read this book too...

 I do feel bad talking so much about me so I will add that in two weeks Mindy and I will begin Kangaroo care and I understand it's a topless event so I will be adding low rep, high weight chest and shoulders work out over the next two weeks just in case we get any pictures of that. Mindy's chest has expanded exponentially recently and I don't want to be a slouch and a good example for the girls.

Show off!