Weekday Afternoon with Dad

Elise, our rockstar nanny, now really an adopted aunt is in summer school so I get to spend a little more time with the kids in the afternoons and I wanted to show you all what a typical, if I can use that word afternoon looks like at the Guerra house. We'll begin our story as the kids are up from their afternoon naps...

I ask them who should get picked up first ...

Oh, no, this is right on the spot, can have I have another minute to put my answer together...a Toastmasters Impromptu Speech gone awry...Sorry Teagan.

Brielle uses the sad face technique...oh, please pick me up first, but we have one last contestant!

How about a big smile? Can I go first?

Oh sure, go ahead and take smiley Rianne, won't hurt my feelings...okay, it will...

As I reach for her, Rianne gets excited...

Teagan reminds me to come back soon...

First on the agenda are the diaper changes...no I'm not going to show you their poop, that's gross.

What goes in here?

This blue bag of poopy diapers I have to keep from you..Elmo can't stand the smell and is face down...

Then we play some cards...

Ante's one can of Similac.

Then everyone gets fed.

Super-sized soda isn't allowed in New York, but super-sized milk is allowed in I-O-W-A.

Teagan tries to eat the television stand...

I explain to Teagan about cellulose's glycosidic linkages and how as humans, we can't digest them.

Then tries to eat the iPhone.

I explain we can't digest rubber either.

Then a hair band.

Nope. Can't digest cotton either!

In the mean time, Rianne sees Teagan has something....

Ready to pounce...

Rianne closes the gap...

Ready for a sneak attack...

 I videotaped the actual incident...

That was exhausting, I'm thirsty.

Let's see, Hy-Vee Brand Light Apple Juice, 40 calories per serving...

 

Dad. I think we're going to need a bigger nipple to get the juice out of this bottle.

Maybe we'll hold off for about 20 years on this bottle... but if the Iowa Hawkeyes Tigerhawk can be on a Bud Light...

 Afterwards...Rianne decides to eat something else...

And it's time for another biochemistry lesson...Rianne, human's can't digest rubber...

What good are you baby toy? Maybe if I shake it like a pinata candy will come out?

Looks like the cat beat you to it.

Look at this book Dad, makes me want to go outside!

Yeah, let's go outside to the swings!

I recorded the time.

At 3:13 I said, no, I'm sorry, I can't take three of you.

But Dad!?!

I remained firm.

Your mom will be home in 50 minutes, then we can go.

Really? We can't go?

3:15 PM

I love the feel of wind in my hair.

Only two swings and three babies...

So happy.

Not a care in the world.

Rianne gets her own swing.

Hey Dad. How about a push, these things don't move themselves.

So Happy I could just drool all day.

We're back home to assess the damage before mom sees the living room mess. Rianne: We can put it all under my crib.

Teagan resorts to praying for daddy. Rianne fears the worst.

Brielle says this is the exact face mommy's going to make. Then she's going to say, "Hmmmmm."

Then Teagan comes up with an idea...

Daddy, just do this when mommy comes home... then turn on Ellen.

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