Having twins would have been so much easier.
Can we give one up for adoption? Which one?
Why can't all three of them have the demeanor of Rianne?
Is it okay to go cry in the corner for a little bit?
Everyone says it gets easier. When?
I know I should enjoy the baby stage but it's really hard to do with triplets.
I often tell Brielle she isn't an only child and can't be held all the time.
I sometimes count down the minutes till help arrives.
All that being said... I love them all very much and am thankful for the progress they have made. When they smile and talk to us it helps fill our hearts back up so we can keep going on. They are all unique and we are blessed to have three beautiful girls.
Tony's comments are after the pictures...
So we are trying to teach them baby sign language, and this is the correct signal for I'm hungry:
 |
| This is Rianne's sign for I'm hungry. |
 |
| I've got my purple Ravens bow on |
 |
| Should I eat, poop, sleep or poop, eat, sleep, or sleep, eat, poop? |
 |
| Giddy Up, these doggies are going to the End Zone! |
 |
| Buddhist Monk Posing |
 |
| Teagan Dozing |
We caught Teagan talking on the way to a trip to grandmom's house....
...Dad...obviously, as a husband it's tough to read that your wife is hurting...you wish you could hire full-time help so she never has to be alone with them...I also have my afternoons where things feel really hard and I know the cliche, "this too shall pass" but I think we've found some mechanisms of coping with the hardships that come from the three...I guess because multiples in the media have become so...well, have 19 children and you write a book...have 8 with Kate and you have time for marital drama...only three...piece of cake, right? There is no time for selfishness when it comes to taking care of three, and I'm just so happy we're in the Midwest where the culture is one of everyone does their share...it's not that I don't miss the East Coast, it's that there is no room for a 2 hour commute to DC in our lives, certainly not two-two hour commutes....there is no room for a doubled cost of living...
Having twins would have been easier, as would have having had one...but there was a time where we thought me might have none, two years of that time...Carnegie said, "success is getting what you want, happiness is wanting what you get." It would have been tough for us to have another, if not impossible if we did have one, when things are good, when we have enough help....we couldn't imagine having only twins...
Can we give one up for adoption? Which one?...The very forensic answer is we could make another family very happy, but the second question makes the answer to question number one -- No. They are all so unique and have their own moments of ... that is ridiculously cute or she's just so close to ... Brielle ... rolling over and now talks to Teagan... Teagan ... talking to both of them, and keeping a watchful eye ... Rianne ... talking with us ...
Why can't all three of them have the demeanor of Rianne? ... because they are fraternal, not identical twins...forensic answer, but Rianne has her moments too, she has proven she can be louder than Teagan and is just as quick to let you know she is not ready to stop being held and needs additional holding time...
Can I go in the corner and cry for a little bit...I cried (Tony) at our wedding as I was trying to say, "I do", so crying because three other girls in our charge are crying seems okay...on my days when I have them for a number of hours on my own there are times when I get my a@# handed to me by girls that are combined 36 pounds, so I go upstairs, look at the picture boxes Megan made, am reminded of how sick they were and how they could not cry at all with the vent in and how happy I was when I would hear them cry to know that they were okay...then, one at a time, they are settled and it goes back to bliss...then hell...then bliss...I've mentioned this before, kind of the "what do women need men for now that everything can be done without them", I kind of like that with triplets, there is a definite need for the guy...
Everyone says it gets easier. When? I think I picture a time when they all sit quietly on the couch after having democratically voted for a Netflix movie, or they are busy helping each other with their math homework, or they are playing soccer where one kicks to the other, and just as she's about to shoot makes the extra pass that allows for the goal, or the same with basketball or the bump, set, spike in volleyball or three legs of a relay...I pictures these things, and hope they don't take me away to that place with the white walls (One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest)...but then again, maybe....?
I know I should enjoy the baby stage, but when? Really, as a father, I never expected to enjoy the baby stage...at no time in my childhood did I do anything that would prepare me to change diapers, calm a screaming baby, I've read that most fathers picture their children at 5 years and older where they can do cool stuff...so, I guess this part of their childhood has exceeded my expectations...because I had none...seeing myself in Rianne...seeing Mindy in Brielle (not the screaming part, well, maybe a little when I used to leave my stuff all over the floor)...seeing Teagan talk...while I know the song goes, "you're gonna miss this" I'm pretty sure I'm not...what I will miss is the occasional midnight/2 in the morning conversation Mindy and I have when we just burst out laughing at the ridiculousness of it all...I also say some really funny, clever stuff...or it may be that we are so delirious with sleep, we think everything is funny....I think this part is something that our triplets have given us that few other parents can really share, that's each of us holding a child tight to our bodies, while rocking our chairs...comforting them, and having the conversations that we just seem too busy to have during the day...
I often tell Brielle she isn't an only child and can't be held all the time. ... Dad, "
I also often tell Brielle she isn't an only child and can't be held all the time." It's tough to remember that in our lives too, there was a time when all we did was take...take time from our parents, take resources from our parents and gave little back except the occasional smile that made it bearable...I expect that if the hardship is magnified, the reward will be too...attorneys and pre-law students, don't even go there with the fallacy of this argument...just let me ... have my thought that because of the magnitude of A in one direction, then B will be of an equal magnitude in the other direction....
I sometimes count down the minutes until help arrives...I don't count the minutes, I create things that will allow another bunch of minutes to pass...like I rented "Social Network" and the opening two scenes, some of the best ever written I think, take about 15 minutes. After I've seen it, then I know I'm 15 minutes closer to getting help...I watched it 8 times in a row to kill 2 hours...a rule of thumb is that we try not to have anyone alone with the kids for longer than 4 hours or the equivalent of two feedings...the average marathon time is around 4 hours 30 minutes...coincidence?
To say we couldn't have done it without the help of our families, our church community, our neighbors is not an exaggeration, just when it gets so bad we want to quit, someone walks in the door to help...today, this morning, on Sunday when the little prayer goes to heaven that Brady has his worst day ever, that he remembers the game when the Ravens beat them during the regular season a few years back...they say the tight ends are going to pick apart the Ravens secondary, but I think they forget that it's that linebacking core and secondary that keeps hitting you so hard, you don't want to catch the ball ... hopefully Reed will be okay, he got hurt at the end of the last game...sorry, back to the conversation...it's tough, and we appreciate you all helping us get through it...
To add some levity to today's blog, we wanted to mention we got another visit from the Ankeny fire department. Our smoke detectors are all connected, so if one goes off because it detects smoke, they all go off giving us a better chance to get out in time...yesterday morning all six detectors went off at 5:30 in the morning and it was insane...because if one of them goes bad, they all go off as well...so, we've got some of the detectors back up and I've ordered one to make sure it fits...not so easy to find a detector that was installed 10 years ago when the house was built...
 |
| It's tough to see with the glare, but that is a fire engine driving away from our house -- again. |
No comments:
Post a Comment