Identity Crisis

Often times when I am with/out with family or friends I am referred to as “the mom of triplets” or “that’s the one with triplets”.  Sure that is a part of who I am, but there are many other pieces that make me who I am.  I have realized that I have been feeling a bit down lately and I think it is because I have lost a part of myself. I want to rediscover who am I and be able to recognized as an individual, not just as the triplets mom.

I want to have close friendships again.

I want my friends to not be afraid to ask me to do things or ask for help if needed. Yes it may be tricky at times to break away from my family, but I can do it and I want to do it.

I want my personality to shine through.

I want to be able to go places and people call me by name, not the triplets mom.

I want to give back. I love to volunteer . I am slowly working at getting involved again.

I want to not be judged for having triplets. I don’t want to be somewhere with my girls and people ask me what fertility drugs I used.

I don’t want to hear “you are so small how could you possibly carry three babies at once”. Well I did so move on please.

I don't want to hear "how do you do it" or "it must be so hard" or "how big did you get".  Yes it is hard. But how would we not do it? Give one away? Give two away? Give them all away?!?  I love my girls to the moon and back and know we are blessed with triplets for a reason. I just sometimes have to remind myself of that.

I want people to be able to recognize that our family is complete. No we will not be having more children for many reasons, but the key reason is I do not want to miss out on my girls life while I’m on bed rest or leave Tony to manage all alone. I would LOVE to know what it is like to have one child at a time but I have come to peace with the fact that that is not in the cards for me.

With that being said I’m sure Rianne, Teagan, and Brielle are going to face the same types of challenges. They will have to find out how to create their own identities, their own friends, and their own likes and dislikes. I’m sure they will get annoyed with being referred to as the triplets. I’m sure they will wish they weren’t all born at the same time. I’m sure they will be grouped together instead of given undivided attention. But, I hope I can help them overcome the challenges that they will face.