Top Ten Dumb Questions You Won't Have to Ask Because I Did

Q1. Why isn't she gaining weight? A1. She's nauseous and throwing up...Oh yeah. 

Q2. If she doesn't gain weight, will you put in a TPN (Total Parenteral Nutrition)? A2. No, she'll be fine soon and will start eating more.

Q3. Why do we have to do a C section, aren't the babies smaller so they can fit better? A3. They were really nice about answering it, but it comes out to trying to get three infants to agree to come out head first. I still don't know how to dive into a pool right, so this one made sense to me.

Q4. When is our next checkpoint, that is when are we in the clear? A4. They are viable around week 24.

Q5. How often will we be coming in? A5. Every month, then when we get closer possibly every 2 weeks and if there's cervix competency issues, every week.

Q6. When will we know the genders? A6. Next appointment, our week 16, but it can be anywhere from 16 to 20.

Q7. What is reduction? A7. Ugh. When you lose one because it collapses on itself, I read that you can induce reduction by injecting potassium chloride into one of the baby's hearts. Why don't I just stick a javelin in my own heart? I'm sure there are medical reasons for it, but not for us.

Q8. How big is my wife supposed to get? A8.  Supposed to gain 70 pounds from 115 to 185. That seems insane, I'll believe it when I see it. By the way, you want to be really, really careful about asking this one. Maybe I should have said, how much more of her will I have to love?

Q9. How did we decide between Methodist Hospital and Mercy Hospital? A9. We understand that by using Methodist you have to use two doctors, still better to have a specialist than not, but we understand the Perio at Methodist does not do deliveries, the regular OB has to, and ours was in Ames, the WDM, now we're at Mercy. 

Q10. Has anyone with triplets ever gone to full term, 40 weeks? A10. Haven't seen it yet.

Q11. I didn't really ask this, but I wanted to. Exactly how much bigger will my wife get -- up there?